Marco Rubio Under Fire for Misspelling Florida as Flo Rida

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Miami, Florida— On the heels of spelling “United States” wrong in a letter to the Alaska Republican party, former Republican Presidential candidate Senator Marco Rubio is now being criticized for spelling “Florida” as “Flo Rida” in official government documents after recently becoming a fan of the sunshine state hip hop artist.

Rubio dismissed the criticism saying “Look, when I actually do go to work, things can get a bit dull in the Senate, so I was just trying drop a little flavor and make things a bit more gangsta up in the chamber.”

Rubio recently met the Carol City rapper when he performed at fundraiser for his campaign and the two hit it off. “His performance was mesmorizing. I went home and listened to his whole catalog in one sitting that night and I was just blown away.” Rubio raved.

“I’d have to say my favorite song is probably “Sweet Spot” featuring J Lo. It just speaks to me in a profound way that I can’t describe in words. I play the song at full volume on my Bose Wave Radio and it takes me to another place.”

“Before I met Flo Rida, I had been driving around for the last ten years just listening to 50 Cent “Da Club” over, and over, and over again, so Flo Rida’s music has opened up a whole new world to me.”

Rubio has agreed to stop using the alternate spelling on official government documents, but says he will continue to use it when practicing law and in his private affairs.

Photo by: Gage Skidmore

 

 

 

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Kasich Pressured to Drop Out of Presidential Race After Being Caught Eating Pizza With Knife and Fork

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Queens, NY— People are calling for Republican candidate John Kasich to drop out of the Presidential race after footage surfaced showing him eating pizza with a knife and fork in an Italian pizzeria in Queens.

“You can’t eat pizza like that in Queens. It’s an abomination! It may even be illegal, and if it isn’t, it should be.” said enraged NY pizzeria owner Mario Vincenzo after seeing the video. “Did you see what he did to that slice? Maddona Mia! It was perverse. I can’t even watch the video, it’s making me sick. Please turn it off.”

Vincenzo added “Do we really want someone who eats pizza like that in charge of the free world? I just can’t see hardcore New Yorker’s voting for someone who would defile a beautiful NY slice in such a manner.”

Kasich tried to defend his etiquette, explaining there were extenuating circumstances. “The pizza was scalding hot so I ate my first bite with a knife and fork, and ate the rest with my hands.”

When criticized about the incident by a reporter, Kasich retorted “I was eating pizza before you were born,” and added “the fact that you only showed the beginning of the video with me using utensils on the first bite and not the full video of me eating the rest of the slice with my hands is just irresponsible, dirty journalism.”

As a result of the incident, which has been dubbed “Slicegate,” Kasich’s poll numbers are plummeting in NY, and his campaign is scrambling to do damage control and restore confidence in Kasich with the people of New York before the New York primary, which is just weeks away.

Bird That Landed on Bernie Sanders Podium was Actually Hillary Clinton Spy Drone

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Portland, Oregon— The nation has been captivated by the bird that landed on Senator Bernie Sanders podium Thursday at a rally in Portland , but further investigation suggests the bird may have been a Hillary Clinton spy drone disguised as a bird and sent to gather intelligence.

“I thought I was having a legitimate moment with a real bird.” said Sanders after the rally “but now, it looks like it may have been a spy drone in birds clothing, like that mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans.”

When asked how the drone theory emerged, Sanders said he couldn’t say much because it was an ongoing investigation, but he told us that his secret service tracked the bird after it flew from the podium to an alley behind the rally where it landed on the wrist of someone later identified as a Hillary Clinton aide.

The Clinton aide and bird were seen being spirited away in a black SUV with tinted windows. We reached out to Clinton and her campaign manager, but they declined to comment on the incident.

Bernie Sanders Not Opposed to Using Old Man Strength as an Alternative to Nuclear Weapons

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Keene, NH— At a rally today in Keene, New Hampshire, Vermont Senator and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders said he would not rule out using Old Man Strength against ISIS or any other foreign threat.

“When dealing with foreign policy, I have to utilize all the tools at my disposal. Nothing should be off the table,” said Sanders.

“Put me in the bay of a B-52, fly me over a foreign country, and broadcast me over the bullhorn. I’ll show you curmudgeon-grade mushroom clouds the likes of which you have never seen.”

Senator Sanders also added that “the radioactive half-life of Old Man Strength is drastically less than the radiation associated with nuclear weapons. It’s the greener option, and being from Vermont, nature and the environment are very important to me, so I will go with the greener solution when at all possible when dealing with these issues.”

When asked about the last time he had to utilize his Old Man Strength, Sanders answered “It was this past Thanksgiving, opening a jar of Vlasic Gherkin Pickles for the holiday spread. The cap was giving me trouble, so I fired off the Old Man Strength like a nitrous oxide tank, and completely devastated that lid. And I will use that same power on any foreign entity that threatens our great country.”

Keeping Our 35 Millimeter Dreams Alive: The Mahoning Drive-In Theater

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With the growing scarcity of 35mm prints and mounting pressure from Hollywood studios to convert to digital projection, most movie theaters across the country have been forced to embrace the digital age and shed their 35mm film projectors for their digital counterparts. But despite this push from Hollywood to abandon film, there are a small handful of independent theaters across the country that are going in the opposite direction.

On the outskirts of the Poconos, in Lehighton, Pennsylvania, the Mahoning Drive-In Theater is one of the few drive-in theaters in the country keeping 35mm film alive on the big screen outdoors, and preserving the unique and priceless experience of enjoying a classic film under the stars.

The Mahoning Valley Drive-In theater was built in 1947 and opened in 1948. The sizable grounds can accommodate up to a thousand cars, and features a 109 ft. CinemaScope screen, which is the largest on the East coast and second largest in the country. Unlike many drive-ins from the time period, the Mahoning has undergone very few changes over the years so the theater has retained its old school feel. Onsite camping is also available, making the nostalgic experience even more immersive, and elevating the drive-in to a retro-cinema vacation destination.

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In 2014 Jeff Mattox, longtime projectionist for the Mahoning, took ownership of the drive-in. At the time the theater was still showing first run movies without much success. Then one night Jeff had a revelation while driving by other local theaters, who were all playing the same movies: he was tired of showing the same films as every other theater, and wanted to do something different.

The rest of the Mahoning team got involved by chance after filmmaker Matt McClanahan discovered the drive-in on the way to a film shoot in July of 2014. Matt called his boss and friend, Virgil Cardamone, a fellow Temple graduate, filmmaker and drive-in enthusiast, and told him about the theater. The two met with Jeff, and after discussing movies and the drive-in’s future, it was clear the three had a common bond: a love for film and drive-in theaters, and a desire to save the Mahoning. Matt and Virgil decided to work with Jeff as partners to help promote and breathe new life into the drive-in.

Jeff and the team ultimately abandoned plans to try and convert the theater to digital projection, and decided to exclusively show retro classics on 35mm film for the 2015 season. In order to accommodate the older 35mm film reels, Mattox converted the theater’s Simplex E7 35mm projectors from a platter delivery system, which became prevalent in the 1970’s, back to an old school reel to reel set up.

Doing things the old fashioned way in the digital age isn’t without it’s own challenges. Being able to locate and lease quality 35mm prints can be difficult, and Hollywood studios are not typically keen on having old movies competing with their new releases, so lease agreements on old films can often be pricey. These factors combined with the cost of shipping films across the country can make showing strictly classics on 35mm film an expensive endeavor.

Mahoning was able to overcome this challenge by developing a partnership with Exhumed Films, a group dedicated to keeping obscure films, B-movies, and classics alive on the big screen. Exhumed Films has helped the Mahoning bring in quality prints of classic and obscure films, and alleviated some of the shipping costs, being located much closer on the East coast.

The drive-in has been host to some amazing double and triple features this summer, with classics like The Wizard of Oz, Shawshank Redemption, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Superman, Batman, and Cool Hand Luke. They have also had a number of theme weekends, including two Universal Studios Weekends, with iconic films like E.T., Flash Gordon, Jurassic Park, An American Werewolf in London, Dracula, and Phantasm II, and an AVCO Embassy Pictures weekend, featuring Escape From New York, Dead and Buried, and Fear No Evil.

In addition to more classic double and triple features lined up in August, the Mahoning team has some great events planned, including a Planet of the Apes marathon weekend, a horror themed camping weekend, and their first ever music festival. There are also plans to add a stage under their CinemaScope screen to facilitate future music performances and special events.

The Mahoning Drive-In offers a unique and unrivaled outdoor cinematic experience to film buffs, nostalgia lovers, and first timers alike. In a world where drive-in theaters are disappearing, technology is being valued over cinematic quality, and the medium of film is being forced into its grave, the Mahoning Drive-In Theater is keeping the 35 millimeter dream alive, for the medium, for the art form, and for all of us.

Mahoning Drive-In Theater
635 Seneca Rd. Lehighton, Pennsylvania 18235
610-683-7243 mahoningdriveintheater@gmail.com
http://www.mahoningdit.com/
https://www.facebook.com/mahoningdriveintheater
https://twitter.com/MahoningDIT

Exhumed Films
http://www.exhumedfilms.com/

Remnants of a Lost Era: The Drive-In Movie Theaters of New Hampshire

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Drive-In movie theaters have been part of New Hampshire state culture for almost 70 years. Even prior to New Hampshire’s oldest Drive-in theater opening in 1948, drive-in restaurants in New Hampshire were showing films outdoors. In the late 1940’s and early 1950’s, as the popularity of Drive-in theaters grew across the U.S., the number of New Hampshire drive-ins grew rapidly, reaching double digits, with numerous outdoor theaters spread across the state. As the decades went on, interest in outdoor theaters started to taper off, and many of New Hampshire’s drive-in theaters disappeared. Now only three of the original drive-ins are still in operation, and a total of four remain in the state.

Milford Drive-In Theater

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The Milford Drive-In Theater was built in 1958 by a group of local residents. The theater originally opened as a single screen with an 84 foot wooden screen. In the 1960’s the theater was leased to a local couple, and in 1969 the theater was purchased by the Scharmett family, who have run the drive-in ever since, with the exception of a three year period. In 1984 the property was expanded and a second screen was added. The theater has since replaced the wooden screen with a steel screen, and complete renovations have been done on the concession stand, restrooms, and box office. The theater has also been upgraded with digital projection and Dolby Digital Sound. The theater grounds are clean and well maintained, and the snack bar has a wide selection and reasonable prices.

Milford Drive-In Theater
531 Elm Street, Milford, NH 03055 (603) 673-4090
http://www.milforddrivein.com/

Northern Nights Drive-In

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Northern Nights Drive-in is the newest of New Hampshire’s drive-in theaters. Built by owners Annette and Raymond Dubreuil in 2008, Northern Nights theater is in beautiful Lancaster, NH; located in Coos County, in the Great North Woods region. Northern Nights features a single 25 x 50 ft. screen in a beautiful scenic setting, and a snack bar that features homemade foods and all your drive-in favorites. Northern Nights is unique among NH drive-ins in that it offers camping and a movie. For an additional fee you can reserve a site and watch the movies fireside from your campsite. The theater is currently still running 35mm projection, but hopes to convert to digital projection soon. To help with the conversion to digital, they are accepting donations via their PayPal, and have a Kickstarter campaign in the works. The owners also have plans to add an eat-in diner in addition to the snack bar, and hope to eventually add a second screen.

Northern Nights Drive-In
51 Causeway Street, Lancaster, NH 03584 (603) 788-3558
http://www.northernnightsdrive-in.com/
Northern Nights Drive-In Digital Fund

Northfield Drive-In

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Nestled on the New Hampshire/Massachusetts border, Northfield Drive-In Theater, New Hampshire’s oldest drive-in, was opened in August, 1948 by drive-in pioneer Carl Nilman, who owned numerous drive-in theaters in MA and NH. The original 80 x 54 ft. screen was destroyed by a hurricane in 1951, but was re-built to the same dimensions and is still in use today. In 1967 the theater was sold to the Shakour family who also owned the Keene Drive-in. The theater has been family-run by the Shakour’s ever since. In 1998 the theater was used as a set in the film “The Cider House Rules,” appearing in three scenes in the Academy Award-nominated film. In the spring of 2014 the theater upgraded to digital projection and Dolby Digital Sound. Northfield’s snack bar offers an extensive selection of food and treats. The theater will celebrate it’s 70th anniversary in 2018.

Northfield Drive-In
981 Northfield Road, Hinsdale, NH 03470 (603) 239-4054
http://www.northfielddrivein.com/

Weirs Drive-In Theater

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Opened in 1948 by Harry and Yvonne Gaudet, the Weirs Drive-In Theater was New Hampshire’s second drive-in theater, and is the state’s largest. Located on the edge of Lake Winnipesaukee, the outdoor theater has been a favorite destination for both vacationers and locals for decades. In the early days, the theater featured carbon arc projectors, vacuum tube speakers, and a snack bar. The Gaudets ran the theater until spring of 1966, when their daughter Pauline and son-in-law Donald Drouin took over ownership. Other than a brief period, the Drouins owned and operated the drive-in until 1974, when they sold it to Lawrence and Patricia Baldi, who have owned the theater ever since. The Baldis eventually expanded the drive-in by adding a second screen in the mid 80’s, and later added two additional screens, making it New Hampshire’s only four screen drive-in theater. In May of 2015 the Drive-in was put on the market for $2.5 million dollars. Despite being up for sale, the theater remains in full operation, and upgrades are still being made. Mrs. Baldi has plans to convert two of the theaters four 35mm projectors to digital this summer.

Weirs Drive-In Theater
76 Endicotte Street, Weirs Beach, NH (603) 366-4723
http://www.weirsdrivein.com/

A special thanks to Warren Huse from the Laconia Historical and Museum Society for aiding me in my research of the Weirs Drive-In Theater.

© 2015 All Rights Reserved The contents of this article cannot be reproduced without prior permission of the author.

The Golden Age of Anthology Horror Television

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I was lucky to grow up in the 80’s; it was the golden age of anthology horror television.

From the early 80’s through the 90’s, there were a number anthology horror TV shows on the airwaves. These shows would air late at night on the weekends, and they were the perfect creepy, late night viewing.

Anthology horror TV shows of the time were an extension of the unfolding golden age of horror on the silver screen. These weekly horror shows were produced by companies like Laurel EntertainmentNew Line Cinema, and Paramount, who were behind some of the best horror films of the 80’s, including Creepshow, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Friday the 13th. 

Many of the shows had episodes written or based on stories by famous horror writers and directors, like George Romero, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Tobe Hooper, and Fred Dekker.

Anthology horror TV shows were popular throughout the 80’s, but by 1992 the only show left in the genre was Tales from the Crypt, which aired until 1996. When the golden age of horror films diffused into the 90’s, anthology horror television did as well.

There have been some modern anthology horror series over the last few decades, most notably Masters of Horror (2005-2007), but anthology horror television has largely become a lost genre.

Let’s take a look back at the classic anthology horror shows of the 80’s.

Tales from the Darkside (1984-1988)

With the success of George Romero’s horror anthology film Creepshow, Romero and the film’s producers, Richard P. Rubinstein and Laurel Entertainment, decided to develop a similar TV series entitled Tales from the Darkside. The show followed the same approach as Creepshow, with live-action 1950’s EC comic-style horror tales. The iconic, creepy opening and closing sequences feature a haunting theme song by Donald Rubinstein and Erica Lindsay. A number of the episodes were based on stories by famous horror authors like Stephen King, Clive Barker, and Robert Bloch. Tales from the Darkside ended in 1988, after four seasons and 90 episodes. A movie based on the TV show by the same was released in 1990.

Friday the 13th: The Series (1987-1990)

Even though the show was called Friday the 13th: The Series it actually has nothing to do with Jason Vorhees or Crystal Lake. The show is about Micki Foster and her cousin Ryan Dallion, who inherit an antique store from their Uncle Lewis Vendredi, and inadvertently sell cursed antiques from the store. After being told about the cursed items by their uncle’s friend Jack Marshak, Micki and Ryan work with him to retrieve the cursed antiques, and return them to a vault under the store. Many of the customers discover the powers of the cursed items, and do not want to return them, using the powers for their own purposes. Friday the 13th: The Series ended in 1990 after three seasons and 72 episodes, when the show was canceled abruptly during the third season.

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Freddy’s Nightmares (1988-1990)

Freddy’s Nightmares is a spin-off from the A Nightmare on Elm Street films produced by New Line Television. The show is hosted by Freddy Krueger, and the format is much like Tales from the Crypt. Each week there was a new stand alone episode which typically had two story lines. The pilot, “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” directed by Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergiest), elaborates on Freddy’s origins referenced in the first A Nightmare on Elm Street film, showing his trial, release on a technicality, and immolation by the parents of Springwood. After the pilot, Freddy would occasionally appear in episodes, but mainly served as the host. Freddy’s Nightmares ended in 1990 after two seasons and 44 episodes.

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Monsters (1988-1991)

Monsters debuted not long after Tales from the Darkside ended, and was produced by Darkside producer Richard P. Rubinstein and Laurel Entertainment. The two shows were similar, but Monsters was more straight horror, and focused on monsters. The show adapted stories by Stephen King and Robert Bloch, and had guest stars, including Steve Buscemi and Gina Gershon. Monsters ended in 1991 after three seasons and 72 episodes

Tales from the Crypt (1989-1996)

Tales from the Crypt debuted on HBO in 1989 and was named after the 1950’s EC comic by the same name. The episodes were largely based on stories from Tales from the Crypt, and the 6 other EC comics of the time period. The show was produced by HBO, with Executive Producers Richard Donner, Robert Zemeckis, Joel Silver, and David Giler. Unlike other anthology horror series of the time, Tales from the Crypt aired on cable TV, so it wasn’t subject to the censorship of network TV. The show often contained graphic violence, gore, nudity, and sexual situations. The episodes were later edited for broadcast in syndication. Episodes opened with theme music by Danny Elfman while the show’s host, an animated corpse named the Crypt Keeper, introduced the story. The show featured well-known writers, directors and actors from film and television throughout the series. Filming was moved to Britain for the seventh season and featured episodes based on British characters. Tales from the Crypt ended in 1996 after seven seasons, and 93 episodes.

© 2015 All Rights Reserved The contents of this article cannot be reproduced without prior permission of the author.